Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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