did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
