remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize