you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Alive.
So much puke
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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