Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
