Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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