i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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