I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
