All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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