Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
