My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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