You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We are two peas in an std pod
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
