it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
