Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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