So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
