i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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