This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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