Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
