I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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