their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
