When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
