using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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