gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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