Sry I called you an 8
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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