In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize