Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
