So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
