I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
