Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize