I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
this beer tastes like vomit already
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
