I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
NoShamevember. You game?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Randomize
