Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
