Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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