i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
