question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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