u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
