After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
