I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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