i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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