TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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