I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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