He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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