Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Floor bacon is actually really good
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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