I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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