his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I party with great urgency now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
