he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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