i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
