I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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