Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
