Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
A+ Viking dick
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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