I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize