He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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