I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Welp...herpes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
