You really coming over, don't trick.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
