I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we're so committed to being not committed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
