You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
