those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
