One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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