You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
