i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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