She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
