So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
