I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
