Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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