There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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