Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
