Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
