Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
do nipples grow back?
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